|  I love that she's growing up and walking and starting to talk. I just feel sad that my baby isn't a baby anymore. She turned 1 yeasterday. She got so many toys and we only had a family dinner. The real party is tomorrow. She's so dang spoiled. But she is so excited to get anything and loved her family so much. She walks around the room before bed and kisses her papa, grandma, grandpa, uncle and mama goodnight. She even carries around her dolls and kisses them on the head all the time. She's so sweet. I don't think I could possibly love her anymore. Happy Birthday to Julia!!! 
 me and my baby in the pool!
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| i just gt totally blindsided by another blog. when i log in i always take a quick look at what other people are writing on here and today there was lots of talk of valentines day and babies. one of the post was a beautiful rant from what seemed like a very bitter little girl. i thought to myself "wtf count your blessings little girl! stop being so down about things that don't matter!" then i read further down and i ate my words and was even brought to tears. this poor girl got pregnant and was used and cheated on by the babies father and that's not even the sad part. as i scrolled down i saw pictures of her holding the baby. this is always the silver lining to me. so the guy was a douch bag, so what?, you got this beautiful baby out of it. well i spoke too soon. the baby died. i started crying and just didn't know how to stop myself. this poor girl. this poor empty soul. i've had may trials in my life, but never the pain of loosing something so dear. my heart broke for her! but the only thing i could do is sit in the glow of the monitor and cry.
this has made me feel even more blessed to have a happy healthy baby in my arms. i've been so lucky to have josh here by my side loving and supporting julia and i. i've never been more happy in my whole life. i get to go to sleep with her curled up right next to me and wake up to her laughs and coos almost every morning. she's such a happy baby! i forget that most people don't have the same luxery. there is so much to be grateful for and i don't want to take a second of my life for granted. i just want this brave girls heart to heal and for her to have the courage to try again. i felt the anger and bitterness she has. she can bearly stand to look at other babies. the pain makes her human. and she'll never forget her little angel or the love she felt for him. and that's what makes her a wonderful mother.
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| and so it is just like you said it would be...life goes easy on me...most of the time.. |
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